Do you really know me?

It all started like it always does. It’s a ritual. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” —the ice-breaker question in the interview.

The interviewee took three minutes to cover an over-all “about-me” thing, and finally when it came to hobbies, he mentioned about reading books etc., but suddenly the interviewer interrupted and asked. “How was your trip to India last month?” The interviewee was surprised, eyes widened, smiled and was all enthused to tell about it.

When he finished that, the interviewer asked another question— “The guy you were teaching at the charity- did he pass the exam?”

And then another …“Why do you think the client appreciated your team member Mr. X and not you?”

And it went on like…

“Why did you choose to install TOR in your mobile phone?”

“Did you agree with Gary Vaynerchuck’s response to the question you asked?”

“Tell me more about the disagreement pyramid you responded to Jeff’s blog.”

“How far have you finished reading ‘how to win friends….’? Did you happen to get a pre-1964 edition? BTW, why did you prefer the old edition?”

“What did you learn from on-startup community? Why were you interested in it in the first place?”

“Why do you follow both Deepak Chopra and Richard Dawkins?”

“Have you seen the other responses for the question that you answered about Pivoting the database?” “Do you think your response was better or did you learn something new?”

…and the questions went on... They ranged from sports, to tourist places, to photography, to politics, to music for a good 20-30-minutes duration.

Some side questions that were picked during the conversation were like, “How would you have done it differently?”;

“How you pick the team?”;

“Your dream?”;

“Why do you think you are investing your time with us to catch your dream?”

Finally, the interviewer asked, “So, what do you think about this interview?”

And the interviewee responded saying “It didn’t seem to be like an interview. It’s like catching up with old friend. I am not sure even if my girlfriend knew about me this much. I had a good time.”

The interviewee curiously asked “Do you already know me?”

“You are all over the internet” said the interviewer.

Reluctantly the interviewee added - “But if I may ask, you did not deep dive into my current job details, my experience etc., so has the vacancy been already filled and you just had a chat with me(?) or I don’t know how to say… I did not expect… this is different… Normally I have seen the interviewer seeing the resume only during the interview… they just ask the question from the resume… and then they ask some technical questions.”

The interviewer smiled and said “whatever I need to know about you, I got it from the internet already… and I have got it cross-verified during our chat… and that is more than enough to form an opinion”

---

Later, the interviewee joined the organization and in the feedback for about the interview and selection process, the candidate mentioned that:

“I got two other offers but picked this one not because of the money, rather this one wasn’t competitive package, but got a feeling that people already know me and can relate to me better.”

---

Thanks to Shikha Ashok for reading the draft

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow

A fictional tale from the Great Mahabharata

To those who do not know: Balarama is elder brother of Lord Krishna, a great warrior and wrestler by profession. There was none in the world who could win Balarama in Wrestling. Lord Krishna needs no introduction.

---

On a full moon day, Balarama and Krishna was crossing the forest. Both have been walking for all day and was tired. As the sun set and started to get dark, they were searching for a place to rest.

“I know you are tired, so am I. But both of us cannot sleep at the same time. Let me sleep first and you keep guard of me. When you cannot control sleep anymore, wake me up and I shall guard you” said Krishna and went to sleep.

Balarama was guarding Krishna. Time passed by and it was almost midnight. The clouds were growing darker

All of a sudden, at distance, there was a huge roar of sound. Its neither sounds like human nor an animal. The sound was magnanimous and huge like thunder. Balarama saw a huge demon approaching.

The demon made a huge roar as if it was the biggest thunder one could ever hear. Balarama got scared. From the sound Balarama could feel that monster is approaching near. On its way the monster was uprooting the trees that was in its way. Another roar, Balarama was even more scared. Now he could see the demon clearly. The fear engulfed Balarama, the great warrior himself was surprised to see himself shivering.

The demon roared once again with its mouth too wide and the thick chain of saliva between the jaws were oscillating. The jaws were large, teeth were sharp and Balarama could see that they were in dark yellow. The eyes were red hot and its body was darker than the night. The nasty smell of the monster was overwhelming and it left Balarama suffocating.

Balarama and the monster was nearly face to face but at distance. The monster roared. At the sound of roar, Balarama, the undefeated wrestler, sweating and shivering saw himself diminishing in half of his size while the monster grew double its size. The monster roared once again. This time the sound was four times more than what he heard before. Balarama dreaded and shrink further half his size and the monster once more grew doubling its size.

Seeing the mammoth approaching near, Balarama ran near Krishna and cried Krishna’s name aloud before he fainted.

Krishna hearing Balarama woke up from sleep and saw Balarama lying down. Krishna was in deep sleep so he did not know what happen to Balarama and though that his brother was too tired that he was sleeping.

The monster followed Balarama’s trail and made the thunderous sound. This time it was not Balarama it was Krishna. Krishna saw a mammoth approaching him. Krishna shouted back “What do you want?”.The monster roared once again and Krishna once again asked “What do you want?”. Everytime Krishna asked “What do you want?”, he saw himself growing double his size while the monster shrinking to half its size.

The Monster shrank to Krishna’s thumb size and he picked it up and put the little monster in his waist pocket. Krishna kept guard of Balarama for the remaining night.

The morning sun glowed, Balarama slowly got his consciousness back. Suddenly the memories of previous night dawned upon him and so did the fear. Puffing and panting he ran to Krishna.

Seeing Balarama’s face gone white, Krishna asked “What happened?”

“Krishna, yesterday night, there was a huge demon, and it was roaring like thunder. It came to eat us both and last thing I remember is I came running to you. Did you hear the sound.. did you see the Monster?” asked Balarama.

Krishna smiled and said “Is this the little demon you are talking about” saying so, Krishna took the demon out from his waist pocket.

---

This is a fictional incident in the life of Krishna and Balarama story that the great Sage Vedavyas narrates using monster to be a metaphor for the problem we face. He beautifully explains…

If we worry too much, the problem seems bigger. Instead, if we stand up and face the problem, the problem becomes smaller.

Marriage is not for recreation, it results in procreation!

Originally published in http://www.medium.com/@karthigeyans

A recent judgement by Justice Karnan in Madras High Court was made controversial, that it was covered in international newspapers, including NYT (see the epilogue on what controversy was made). This is a story about it in my words.

---

Few years back, two lovers —a Muslim man and a Hindu woman (to be specific) were in espousal relationship between them, but the relationship wasn’t solemnized or documented. With all true intention, there is nothing wrong in that, after all the rituals are for societal recognition.

Eventually they had their first child. Couple of years later, the lady delivered another child—rather a difficult one—through cesarean.

Few years passed by. The relationship wasn’t going any easy between them. The man didn’t want it anymore. For whatever reason, he decided to drift apart. But a cunning person he is, claimed that he was never married to the lady and the children were not his.

The only recourse for the woman and the children is to take it to court of law and judgement come in her favour.

Proving whether he fathered the child or not can be as simple as a DNA test. But How do you prove whether he was married to the woman or not? Especially when it was not solemnized either by ritual or by law or by any paper evidence! And none could be taken as witness in the court of law when they took their vow.

As the case turned out and argued, the facts presented proved without doubt: that it is fact that they have lived-in together; and it was not an extramarital affair; and before their live-in relationship the lady was a spinster and the man was a bachelor; and the children born were his own, through her.

He has signed the birth certificate of her daughter where he was mentioned as the child’s Father. He has signed the no objection letter in the capacity of husband when the woman delivered her second child by cesarean (he should have been a stupid to contest!).

By law, for a muslim, the marriage should be registered in a Mosque. For a Hindu, she has to circumference the Holy Fire and take seven steps of oath. Neither was done. So, the only question that needs to be answered is whether the man and woman can be called as husband and wife or a live-in relationship.

Live-in relationship is noble not rouge.

The learned Justice, saw the merits of the case and pronounced that that there is nothing in law that would object if both were to be called as husband and wife. After all, marriage is nothing but a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other to share their life together and make a family. And that, the marriage rituals such as wedding or registering are only for the societal recognition.

When they have lived in together and have raised a family, the relationship should indeed to be construed as marriage. And the woman shall therefore derive the benefits a wife would otherwise derive in case of a marriage that was performed as per the rituals/ custom/law.

Marriage is not for recreation, it results in procreation!

Nevertheless, not having such ritual or not registering the marriage wouldn't be an excuse to absolve the man’s espousal responsibility as both intended and have had sexual relationship and procreated children.

This happened in Madras High Court- India, pronounced by Justice Karnan.

The rationale behind the judgement is terrific and is laudable.

---

Epilogue:

The wordings of Judgement was bit ambiguous at least for a layman like me, and the verdict arise lot of question like how to prove the intention behind etc., but instead of seeing the merit and spirit of the judgment, people started tweeting ridiculing the judgement. NYT also covered the story.

Supposedly a sensible Newspaper like The Hindu had their catchy heading “Couples who have premarital sex to be considered ‘married,’ says HC.”

And the twitter mafia punned it (#MadrasHC- around 20th of June) without even realizing the real facts! In the light of facts, they are nothing but a laughing stock.

Intend pun, but never become a laughing stock.