Warning: This blog was written with good Intentions. Please read with open mind
It was a tea time. My friends and I sat with the Business Line newspaper and a cup of cardamom tea. The news in the cover page of Business line read that the Karnataka Chief Minister Mr. Dharamsingh has announced that securities were in high alert.
I was saying to my friend that “we wake only after an incident happens” and I was also discussing about the latest rape and murder case on one of the BPO employee in
The discussion slowly proceeded and my friend said “There is no possibility for a single man to rape a lady without any other means such as rope, handcuffs or some intoxication. Unless the woman assents with or without her interest it is not possible for man to have sex with her.”
I have never thought about it previously. After some cogitation on how a beast in the form of a man could rape a woman, I started animating the sequence of actions if such a rape has to happen.
Following were the line of thoughts:
If that beast has to rape the woman singly, either he has to threaten that he will nab her belongings or kill her with any instruments such as knife etc, or kidnap her to a lone place where she might not find anyone to help her and then tease her that there will be no one to her rescue and she doesn’t have an option but to satiate him.
A woman would not allow the beast to rape her just for her belongings unless it is too valuable at that point of time. Probably she may be afraid of being killed. (We have few cases were the women suicides after being raped. If that is the case, she shall attempt to defend. Probably she might have won the fight or got killed. If anyway she is going to die, it is better to be got killed in a fight rather than suicide). In all the cases she reaches a breaking point where she comatose and become placid for the beast to satiate his sexual pleasure
Envisaging that a woman is raped by a beast without using any external contrivance such as handcuffs, ropes etc, he has to spread himself on her after spreading her leg and holding her hands. Even if he manages to do so, she still have her teeth to bite him and will be in a position to twist her body left and right thus not allowing him to proceed. Thus in all the cases which is reported as rape, she should have been probably got frightened and become placid. It takes hours to becoming physically exhausted while it takes comparatively very less time to get mentally exhausted. Equally a beast in the man doesn’t live such a longer time. Thus a woman can get rid of this beast if she has grit and willpower.
Only when the beast uses external devises such as handcuff, rope or make her unconscious by some intoxication etc, or if it is more than one person a rape can happen.
Why this blog on such a nasty topic?
As a matter of fact, I have never thought in these lines. I was in thinking that a beast in form of man can rape a woman singly and thanks to the movies. But I understand that woman become placid upon reaching the breaking point. The duration of reaching the breaking point depends on the woman’s willpower and grit. Similar to me, there may be very many women whom may not know this.
A beast attempting to rape without any contrivances would do only when there is a sudden ill thinking that arise in his mind. Had it is been pre planned he would have probably arranged for all the contrivances, which is not the situation we are discussing here. When such sudden ill thinking arises, he makes a plot very quickly. This means his mind in tranquil state. Whereas the women in prey becomes tensed and mind gets blocked which is the first step for loosing herself. She could win the fight if she has enough grit. Physical strength is actually not necessary. Mental strength is what that matters.
I think we feel it’s uncouth to discuss these in public. Hence there is a little awareness on how to escape from such kind of accidents. If every women envisage such situation mentally, and would clarify any doubts regarding this to their close friends or relative probably we may avoid such accidents. Probably few women can make a role play amongst them to encounter such an unforeseen incidents.
Beasts in the form of men are to be blamed for such incidents. Though we have to collectively fight against these anti-social elements, it is better for us to be precautious. As it is widely said “self help is the best help”
I agree to ur last point on saying that women should be more equipped in handling situations like these, self defence is the best mechanism and even if a person who does not have physical strenght can use other devices to protect themselves from anyone who comes to attack them.
ReplyDeleteWomen if willingly gives herself to a man, then its not considered as rape, its only the forcefulness of the man (or beast as u said) which makes it a rape. With or without handcuffs or rope, a man can easliy take over a woman. One example would be me and my brother fighting, it just takes a few seconds for him to catch hold of both my wrists in one single hand and well i dont hit him on the shins with my leg coz he's my bro, but women can use their legs too for self defence.
Mentally women get exhausted and all they want to do is give up, many might even faint. The rapist doesnt care in what state the girl is, even if its a dead body, all he wants his sex. Not necessary that he should tie her hands, all he has to do his beat her until she cant move and do his bidding.
All I wonder is why such animails exist in this society and why only men??? I am not saying that there should be women rapists, but just that if a woman doesnt want it so much then why men do? And in India, though we dont hear much about rapes, it happens a lot, especially in village areas where there would be no one to publicize.
Changing the entire society is "impossibility of an event happening", so women need to change themselves.......bharathi sonna maadhiri (avar dhaana sonnar?) "nadu iravil pengall ulaa varum kaalam" - only with a reliable male escort, or else its better to stay at home.
Yeah i agree. Women gets exhausted mentally quickly in these circumstance. But my feeling is, they happen to exhaust easily because, they have not expected such thing in their life. they are not mentally prepared for the combat.
ReplyDeleteWhen we make so much of awarness for AIDS etc, which is required a similar awarness should be there in the school level or college level to combat these kind of situation. atleast parents should take some steps in educating their girl children.
Once I read these lines in a short story: "No place is secure for women, they are not safe even in their mother's womb". It's unbearable truth.
ReplyDeleteThe title itself suggests how to encounter this kind of situation. Parents should make their children aware of problems they might face and teach them how to handle the situation. As you said, there should be a awareness program in school/college level to make women mentally strong. What we always do is: 'feel sorry for the victim and soon forgot the brutal incident'.
Women must be aware of the unexpected things might happen and sholuld be trained both mentally and physically. We feel uneasy to discuss about certain things. For goodness sake this situation has to change.
I wonder with what intention movies show that the victim commits sucide after such a accident. Is it a solution? It's not her fault, it was an accident. Why don't we punish that beast in the way gulf-countries do? Nothing to do with our existing law and order. That beast can easily come out while the woman suffers from the lack of family support and society support.
It was my father who first told me about the brutal rape and murder of the BPO employee. We always discuss about many things. But it was the first time we had a open conversation about what are all the things a woman can do to escape from that situation.
My opinion is: Never trust anyone with blind mindedly, avoid being alone with anyone even though we know him. Because in most cases women sexually assaulted by the person known to them. Pay more attention to the instinct. In today's world it's not possible to be escorted by reliable male or stay at home. Women can do anything in self-defence to protect herself. We women never forget the truth "Self help is the best help".
Ganthi sonnathu: "Nalliravil pengall thanniyaga nadamadum kalam eppothu varugiratho, appothuthan India-virku muzhu suthanthiram kidaithathaga artham". But that time is decades away.
there is a very good idea for women.. i have always wondered why they don't do it.. just kick the asshole in his balls, and he won't be able to do a thing for the next few minutes...
ReplyDeletebut the presence of mind alone can help her.. need to be strong.
Piriya,
ReplyDeleteAm happy to know that your parents discuss these thinks openly and educate children rather than thinking it as an uncouth subject....
I remember the novel named "SILA NERANGALIL SILA MANIDHARGAL" by jeyakanthan, which also came as a movie. The story would speak about the failure of mothers duty when such an incident happens.
Ram,
You are right. I also wonder on same thing, probably out of fear, their mind would have got blocked. Awarness on these things would help them to think in these situations.
Women commit suicide, don't report the incident to the police because of a fear instilled in them over years that they will be disgraced for no fault of their own. It has often been seen that women lose support even of family members when such unfortunate incidents happen with them. Once they realise that they have the support of their loved ones, they will automatically face these problems more boldy. we need to instill confidence among our women friends and colleagues.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is, be bold, don't venture out alone late in the night, keep some kind of mustard spray or chilli powder with out. If you feel you are going to be attacked, try moving to a place where there are many people, raise an alarm (trust me, this works sometimes) or as my friends have mentioned, kick them where it hurts the most. Be confident.
Tarun I remember the story written by jayakanthan SILA NERANGALIL SILA MANIDARGAL which descrbes how a mother treated her daughter on such incidence and how the dauthter's life got ruined. how bright it would have been if the mother had been supportive
ReplyDeletehi.
ReplyDeletereached ur blog from orkut iyers.
Quite an interesting topic to blog on. I personally feel that it is indeed the lack of mental strength on the part of the lady and lack of control on the part of the man.
To commit something as serious as a rape, it either needs the man to be completely out of his minds or is cruel at heart. The emotional background of the guy has a lot of role to play.
On the part of the lady, as you say, she must somewhere down the line stop revolting. Lack of physical strength cannot be accepted at all. Lack of ideas and mental willpower can be attributed.
Given today's society, i am more tempted to say that most women have sex with men with consent and later make a rape case out of it. How actually one knows what happened?
bharath
Barath Welcome. I guess you are Bhartwaj of IIT (Chem).
ReplyDeleteI agree what you have said in your comments. But realy i dont have an idea of what you said in last paragraph. But i should not deny the chances of such happening.
i thought that was by far the most straight statement i ever made. I thought it makes sense. puriyaliyaa???
ReplyDeletebarath, i understood what you said. But i dont have an idea as to agree what you said in last para :)
ReplyDeleteoh that way, ok. that is what i felt. not necessarily, everyone must agree. incidentally, do see my blog(s) if u find time.
ReplyDeletea topic ..which most of dnt dicuss or rather choose not to discuss!
ReplyDelete